Writings and Poetry
This is what I have written so far. Some are old, so prepare to see some sucky work. Still, I hope you enjoy. :)
+ Transparent
+ You
+ Not Enough
+ Who?
+ Ghost Of You
+ Superficial You
Transparent
Tell me now
And don't you lie.
Did you ever
think of me?
I don't think
you ever really cared
ever really tried
To get inside
My mind.
'Cuz now I feel like I need you
But when I look, you're never there.
I'm alone, and I feel bare.
Tell me what to do/ I'm so scared.
Please don't walk away.
I have something to say-
I'll say it now
and I won't hesitate
If you're not gunna be here
Don't even pretend
that you intend
to stay my friend.
I know you don't care about me.
I can see right through your
transparent words.
See, they contradict
You hypocrite,
You bitch.
Get away from me
Before I flip the switch
and expose your
transparent words.
You're weak.
And you need to feed.
Need to feed on people like me.
Did you think I was blind?
Think I wouldn't see?
Re-think your strategy,
And I'll get back to you.
Don't try to win me over...
It just won't work.
I already know you,
and the way you operate.
I can see right through you
and your transparent words.
You
I look at you
From across the way
Your smile lights up my day.
'Think he'd talk to me?'
I have to ask myself.
I'm afraid of being turned away.
Please tell me what to say.
I need to confess...
But I'm under a lot of stress.
Make this easy for me.
Just give me some time.
Some time to clear my mind.
But you make me feel so alive
I wanna take the dive
And clash with you.
Finally I'm not afraid
To be what I am.
especially when you're with me.
Let me get to know you
I'd like to show you
What I'm all about.
I'm not what they say I am.
What do they know?
They've never given me a day.
If they did, I wonder what they'd say.
Would they disapprove?
I don't care, as long as I have you.
You're all I've ever known.
The only one I've ever shown.
You see me in a new light.
You make me realize
that I'm not alone.
Not Enough
I don't mean to be a burden.
And sometimes I think I am.
I think so much
That it begins to hurt.
And there I lie
listening to your voice.
Tears stream down my face
I don't feel I'm at home.
And some things you say
stir up in me
Things I'm afraid to feel.
I can't let go
And I can't let you know.
This fear runs deep
And stays with me.
I feel it on the ground / at my feet.
It runs through / pulses through me
Untill I can no longer breathe.
I choke
And a deadly silence fills
this emptiness
I know I'm not enough.
And it kills me when I think of you.
You're the only one who sees through.
All I want is you.
But I know I'm not enough.
When you look at me,
The yearning grows deeper.
It attaches itself inside / inside my mind.
There it waits / hiding from you
It's afraid of what you can do.
I just want to be with you.
You touch me and I freeze
I'm so scared I'm not what you need.
I know I'm not enough.
And it kills me when I think of you.
You're the only one who sees through.
All I want is you.
But I know I'm not enough.
I know I don't derserve you.
I feel you all around.
Sometimes I think I could drown.
But your intentions are warm.
I know better/ you wouldn't let me down.
I ask myself repeatedly...
Am I enough?
Am I enough?
God, I hate these games.
It shouldn't feel this way.
Who?
I stand in the sunlight.
You're still ignoring me
I wonder if you'll ever see me
For who I am.
You know those things they tell
Are never true.
They'll do just about anything
To get me away from you.
And I wish you weren't so blind.
I'm falling back,
And there's no one behind...
So take your life for granted.
Waste it with people whom you know
don't care.
If you run, I won't say I'll be there.
Because now it's your turn
To stand all alone / to feel bare.
With no one to talk to.
No one who cares.
Now I stare in silence
At the man you've become.
I can't believe you went this far
For someone who still hasn't yet come.
Yet I've always been here.
And I guess you didn't see.
I'm going to go now
And leave you here to bleed.
Ghost Of You
You left me.
You left me.
And now there's nothing here.
Nothing but the voices
inside my head.
And the ruins
we've become.
You let us fall apart.
I didn't think
that day would come.
And now I'm all alone.
Here inside my mind.
These words, these fears
I have to push aside.
Desperately I try to tell
What's real and what is illusion.
But all I see is this dillusion.
You hypocrite,
I hate you for what you've done.
You fake,
I hate who you've become.
It's all over.
And here it goes - it's all undone.
All I can see is your face.
All I can hear are your lies.
And the darkness creeps,
deep inside of me it hides.
I hate you.
I hate your sick and twisted actions.
All that's left is this tiny fraction
Of who you used to be.
The ghost of you
still lives on within me.
And with each passing day
it grows harder to look up.
'Cuz all that's up comes crashing down.
And I'm left standing on the ground.
Somewhere inside I shuttered.
The ghost of you
is still unsettled.
Superficial You
Guess it's too late
Guess I'm not enough.
Guess you found a reason
to finally move on.
So you walk on your own.
Your face shows no emotion
you've become a drone, just like the rest.
All pretty in your frilly, pink dress.
But you know there's one person you can't fool.
It's me - and you've forgotten.
And when you look back at me
Remember me for who I used to be.
In my glory, at my peak.
Never thought I'd grow weak -
you went out of your way.
And to my dismay,
you labelled me a freak...
And in the end it's too late.
In the end, I'm not enough
In the end you'll find a reason
You're finally moving on.
And when you look at me
see me for who I used to be...
There's no use in trying.
I'd just rather see you crying.
In a cold, crystallized
area of your heart
I wonder if you saved any part
for me.
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